Your vibe...

“Your vibe attracts your tribe.” - Larry Kendall

I think that quote could be a whole book - not one I want to write, but after reflecting on this quote over the last few days, I think it could be. Heck, maybe there already are a few books on this topic. 

At any rate...let’s take another view of vibes.

Vibes could also be your “mood.” Moods come and go. A big deal falls apart, you’re upset. Now you are in a mood of upset. 

But, if you aren’t paying attention, then that mood can become a default of: “See, things never work out. Things always fall apart. Life and business never works out for me.” You start living your life always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not an empowering mood to move you forward.

We think moods are a function of the past. That deal falls apart, so then we are in a mood. According to the work of Fernando Flores, your mood really is about the future. If you have 3 backup offers, then the specific deal falling out isn’t that bad - because in your future, you can see that you can put it right back together.

Also, if you just had your biggest month ever, then one deal falling apart isn’t that bad because, well, you have a lot of cash in the bank, so your future looks fine since you have money to pay your bills.

Often, we go about not thinking much about our mood. We simply “go about our day.” 

But if our vibe - our mood - attracts our tribe, then maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to pay more attention. If we look at real estate in general, mostly the marketplace has a vibe of competition, winning (and losing), and scarcity. Plus some heaping scoops of fear. Human beings are wired for fear of loss (Loss Aversion Prospect Theory by Tversky and Kahneman). If we aren’t paying attention, then our default vibe is fear and scarcity. 

The 13 Virtues of Being a Professional Worth Hiring is about intentionally creating a vibe that naturally attracts clients. It’s being someone who is trustworthy - worthy of trust - not because that’s what it says on the website, but because that’s what the client feels when they are with us.

I can’t think of a better vibe that a client wants more than one that has them saying to themselves, “I trust that person to do right by me, no matter what.”

When you are using techniques and tricks, or the latest gimmicks, to “overcome objections,” do you really think trust is being built?

One of my coaching clients sold a home for a developer. They sold the house at asking. The developer was thrilled. 

The developer was not thrilled with the general contractor (GC) who built the home, because he went over budget. The developer and the GC had a disagreement on the GC’s fee because of this situation, and the GC texted the developer that if “everyone else” was making less, then so should the real estate agent.

The developer showed this to my client because he was frustrated with the GC and thrilled with his real estate agent. 

How does that look for the GC?

What kind of professional was the real estate agent who had the developer stand up for them like that? 

(And most of you know that developers are notoriously tight with real estate agents fees...)

Amos Tversky was an Israeli cognitive and mathematical psychologist best known for revealing how systematic biases shape human judgment and decision-making under uncertainty, and considered one of the founders of behavioral economics. He co‑developed prospect theory with Daniel Kahneman, explaining why people systematically overweight losses relative to equivalent gains and violate “rational” economic models.

There are a lot of incredible insights behind his work (along with Kahneman), and in my early training with Chris Voss and Steve Shull, it was referenced quite a bit.  In the last year or two, I came across a quote of Tversky’s that I have shared before and keep coming back to:

“It is sometimes easier to make the world a better place than to prove you have made the world a better place.”

Conversely, it’s probably much easier to be trustworthy than to prove it.