Why sellers stay stuck on their price

In the 1950’s, Leon Festinger coined the term ‘cognitive dissonance’, which is the mental discomfort you feel when your beliefs, values, or actions conflict with each other. Human beings also don’t want to be wrong or look dumb. It helps explain why people sometimes defend choices they already know are questionable or simply don’t make much sense.

A seller prices their home at $950,000. The market price is $700,000 to $750,000.

You show the seller all the market data, which clearly shows that the home’s worth is nowhere near $950,000. They remain stuck on $950,000. The data makes no difference. Why? Cognitive dissonance. 

The seller does not want to give up on their vision of selling for $950,000 and the dream home they plan to buy. Selling for less than that kills their dream. This scenario is too much for them to deal with.

Or whatever. It doesn’t matter what the reason is, really - what you, the agent, need to know is that trying to overcome cognitive dissonance with market data is almost certainly not going to work.

The first thing to get is that it’s happening. What to do next requires next-level communication skills.

One way not to handle it: simply ride the listing for 9+ months and hope they finally give in. 

That’s pretty expensive. No special communication skills required.

Of course, it gets worse if they never sell, or they fire you and go with another agent. That is time (and money) you will never get back.

Chris Voss says, “We live in a Las Vegas world.” Meaning, there are odds for everything. Situations are not all-or-nothing, and nothing is guaranteed. 

The seller stuck on $950k: it’s not that you will never be able to “convince” them to reduce their price. Your odds of selling that home are not zero. But they’re not much above zero. The fact is that the scenario presented comes with low odds. 

Your ability to identify the situation, not be attached to any outcome, and connect with people authentically - that’s where the odds get better. If nothing else, the situation becomes clearer. If you decide to work with that seller, you go in eyes wide open with what you are dealing with.

You might do that by asking questions like:

• What would happen if the market doesn’t give you this price?
• What would you do if you were not able to sell your house over the next 12 months?
• How would you feel if you had to abandon the dream of selling and buying?
• How long would you be willing to stay in your current home?

Next comes listening. Specifically, empathic listening. Being an empathic listener is Virtue #1 of The 13 Virtues of Being a Professional Worth Hiring. When you ask those questions, you have to really listen. What is behind what they are saying? What else is happening in their lives that has them answer the way they do? (Starting Monday, I am beginning a monthly program where we dive into the virtues and how they impact you in your business - it’s $79/month - if you are interested, please email me.)

You can’t diagnose cognitive dissonance, or anything else that’s happening, when you are hurried, frustrated, and most importantly, not listening! Worse, if you are simply listening to respond (the default for many human beings), you will find yourself on a 9+ month, highly frustrating journey. Probably unpaid. 

Professionals worth hiring know what their time is worth, and they don’t spend it with people who waste their time. Most importantly, they have communication skills that make them worth hiring.