Why are you not committed?

I was speaking with an agent the other day (let’s say her name is Allie). She said she is committed to being a $30mm/year agent. But she is not. It’s just a good idea.

“No,” Allie said, “I really do want that, am capable of that, and it would make a difference.”

I said, “Well, that sounds to me like a good idea. Like, it would be a good idea if I ate slightly smaller portions, had less sugar, and never drank alcohol. If I did that, I would have a six-pack again. It sounds like a good idea, but I am not committed to it.” 

She said, “Yeah, but I am committed.”

Hmmmm.

When I got home, I put this into an AI model: Why aren’t people committed? I got some good answers.

• The goal is borrowed rather than owned - it’s what they think they should want—not a future they have personally chosen.
  
  

• They want the reward but have not accepted the price. Avoidance can protect short-term comfort and self-esteem, while quietly undermining the stated goal.
  
  

• The target feels too distant or vague. Without a concrete action architecture, the brain defaults to urgent, easy, familiar work.
  
  

• They lack confidence in the causal path. If they do not genuinely believe that they know and can take the action required to fulfill on that goal, then it feels like emotional risk without a credible payoff.
  
  

• They are using the goal as aspiration, not as a decision. An aspiration preserves options: “I’d like to.” A decision closes alternatives: “This is what I do, including when I don’t feel like it.”
  
  

• Their present environment rewards avoidance. 

None of these answers are going to make any difference - for you, or anyone else! 

Back to Allie. I actually said one more thing to her before we finished talking. 

“Can I count on you to produce that result?”

“Whoa.” Then she said, “I will have to think about that.”

Right. Because now we are getting somewhere. Now you would have to be committed.

If I asked NFL quarterbacks Josh Allen or Patrick Mahomes, “Can I count on you to win the Super Bowl?” what do you think they would say? They would say YES! 

It’s not that they can guarantee that result, but they are committed to it.

AI is incredibly helpful. Technology is incredibly helpful. It does not change any of the real-life issues you must confront if you want to be profoundly satisfied in your business. One component of profound satisfaction is meaningful work - whatever that means to you. Notice I did not say $30mm in production is meaningful. It could be, but not necessarily.

Getting better at AI, using your AI as a coach and accountability partner - helpful. But probably not going to make the difference. AI is not a person. AI does not care. AI is ones and zeroes.

Allie has a family. She has kids to feed and clothe. She is the primary breadwinner of the family. She is committed to providing for them. If she does not fulfill on a minimum level of production, they have no roof over their heads and no gas for their cars. We can count on her to produce that result.

But $30mm? What about $20mm? 

She has not promised anything above that. The AI answers probably have some merit, but most likely not transformative in and of themselves. Until she is willing to confront what’s not obvious but clearly in the way, she is likely to stay committed to her current level of production.

The same AI chat gave me the following questions, saying that these “expose the real issue.”

• “Why does $30mm matter to you personally—apart from money, status, or what anyone else expects?”

• “What would a $30mm producer do every week that you are currently unwilling or unable to do?”

• “What are you protecting by not taking that action?”

• “What feels at risk if you make the calls and people say no?”

• “Do you believe the required activities will work? If not, what evidence or skill is missing?”

• “What would make this goal a choice you own rather than a standard you are trying to live up to?”

• “What is the smallest non-negotiable action that would prove commitment this week?”

Also good! But to whom is Allie going to answer these questions? Who is going to care about the answer? Who is going to listen to the way these are answered, listening for what’s not being said?

This is the same level of care and guidance your clients need and want. This is what they will absolutely pay for. If nothing else, my recommendation is to get committed to being better. 

One of my VIP clients, Nancy (not her real name), is on fire. She asks for coaching, then she implements it. I should be paying her! (Not really, but almost). At any rate, she has been incredibly productive even during a very slow season in her market. She is working very hard at getting better at her conversations with clients and, as a result, is producing enormous results.

Do you know how rare that experience is for me? 

You might say, “But Steven, maybe you suck as a coach?”

That is one possible scenario. However, let’s just take the case that my coaching is pretty good. Why is that experience rare for me? Because it takes courage, commitment, and a good why to have people noticeably expand beyond their current comfort zone. 

Full disclosure: I have many clients who are experiencing great results. My point in using Nancy as an example is to compare her to Allie, who is feeling stuck (and yet also producing at a respectable level) but is not living up to her potential (by her own admission). I was in conversations with both of these agents this week - having two very different experiences.

Everything is cognitive dissonance: that mental discomfort that arises when evidence conflicts with established beliefs. In Black Box Thinking, Matthew Syed says, “Lying to oneself destroys the very possibility of learning.” Substitute learning with growing. Your ability to grow and develop is a function of where you stop lying to yourself - stop telling yourself stories to make you feel safe and comfortable.

One way to hijack potential self-deception is to ask yourself, “What results - what actions - can I be counted on to produce?”