Truth kills hope

Many of you may be familiar with the 1994 film, Dumb and Dumber. In one infamous scene, Lloyd (Jim Carrey) is pressing Mary, the girl of his dreams, to tell him his odds of dating her.

Mary tells him his odds are one in a million. 

Lloyd replies, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!”

That’s most real estate agents going on listing appointments! 

You might be shaking your head, “Not me!” Hmmm....

This week, I was in NYC and Southern California doing my half-day workshop. In both instances, I had producing, experienced agents tell me, “I have to go on every listing appointment” because there’s a ‘chance’ I can win. They spend time touring the property, building rapport, etc.

Great. There’s a chance in some quantum lifetime Lloyd gets Mary. There’s also a chance that you go on appointments and will “get the listing,” because your odds are better than one in a million. 

However, just because you have odds better than zero doesn’t mean it’s worth your time.

Here’s the real question: Do you want to spend your time with people trying to “win them over,” or do you want to spend it with people where you have already won?

You would have to give up hope for the truth - or, said another way, truth kills hope. On the other hand, truth feeds certainty. In a business that is incredibly uncertain, dealing with truth in our relationships creates certainty. 

When you go on an appointment - any appointment - knowing what the next step is, and when it is going to happen, and who is going to do what - is the certainty I am talking about. When you go on a listing appointment, wouldn’t it be better to know where you stand before you leave? What if they told you, straight up, “You know, we liked what you had to say, but we are going to list with our previous agent.” At least you don’t have to spend 5 days wondering what the result was! Conversely, they say, “Yes, we would like to hire you, but we need a night to sleep on it before we sign any documents. Can we talk tomorrow at 10 am?” Certainty feels good!

Well, it can feel good if you can appreciate that that is the path to profound satisfaction. When you have control over doing business with people with whom you have an authentically trusting relationship, your satisfaction goes up.

Conversely, you can “win the listing” but not have the trust, and you are just as miserable - in fact, almost more miserable - than if you had simply not “won the listing.”

Yesterday I was on a group call, and an agent was sharing this exact phenomenon. A couple in his sphere told him they were going to sell their property, and they were going to use a friend from church. The agent went over there and “won the listing,” but he never earned their trust. He didn’t deal with the truth of what was happening, authentic trust was never created, and it was a miserable hell-ride to closing. In the end, the commission was not even close to what it cost him in mental energy and loss of satisfaction.

“Honesty doesn’t always pay, but dishonesty always costs.” - Michael Josephson

In the example with this agent, his satisfaction and mental well-being were compromised by not having an authentically trusting relationship. 

Jim Rohn says that a lack of honesty “destroys the trust of those who follow you.” One might take the case that, as we work with clients, if we aren’t being Transparently Honest (Virtue 6 of my “13 Virtues of Being a Trusted Advisor”), then they will lose faith in our ability to guide them.

The more I dig into trust and Being A Professional Worth Hiring, the more I see that the industry and the Marketplace do the exact opposite - they focus on “winning” and “more”, or quantity over quality. I invite you to look beyond the “hype” and “marketing” and look honestly into your own client experiences. 

When you have real trust with clients, when you are in sync and collaborating, how do those transactions go? With what kinds of clients do you want to spend more of your time going forward...? 

Or, you can always keep hope alive by ‘chasing’ low-probability opportunities.