The untrustworthy dental hygienist

Two things have become clear to me during this time:

1. Trust and trustworthiness are not the same thing, yet I was often using them interchangeably.
2. Trust - and trustworthiness - is dynamic, not static.

Trust is about someone giving their trust to another. Trustworthiness is about being someone worthy of trust. Those two are not the same thing, because they are coming from two different points of view. Mostly, what I have been talking about with the 13 Virtues is about being trustworthy. When we are embodying the 13 Virtues, we are being someone who is worthy of trust. Whether or not someone actually trusts us is not in our control. Nevertheless, we can be committed to being trustworthy.

Additionally, we may also decide we don’t want to be in relationships, business or otherwise, where the people we are in a relationship with have “trust” issues. In other words, they have things going on with them that make it difficult for them to trust others. Putting this latter point aside for now, let’s return to the idea that trust and trustworthiness can be dynamic.

One of my clients went to his longstanding dentist. His usual hygienist was not there, and the temporary hygienist filling in was...terrible. Like, really bad. To the point where my client was ready to stop in the middle and walk out.

Furthermore, when he arrived a little early for his 8 am appointment, the office was locked. No one arrived to open the office until 7:55am (it was the temp hygienist who opened the office), and the office staff actually arrived well after 8 am, and made no acknowledgment of being late.

My client was relating this story to me, and it was clear (to me) that the dental office had created a breach in this person’s trust. My client was now unsure what to do, like, should he say something? If he does, how does he do it without “complaining” or being a pain in the butt? On the other hand, he now has some significant reservations about going back to his longstanding dentist. By the way, the dentist has no idea about what’s happened! If this patient (my client) leaves the dentist’s care, the dentist will be left wondering what happened to them. Sound familiar in any way?

[Total side note: The very next day after hearing this story, I went to my dentist. My hygienist, who has been cleaning my teeth for three years, was not there! Who was there? A temp! What do you think was going through my mind??? BTW she was great. The point of this side note (besides the irony): the hygienist had no idea what was going on for me when I sat in the chair. You don’t often know what is going on for your clients when they get in front of you!]

Spending more time in the 13 Virtues of being a professional worth hiring can make you more attuned to what is happening in your relationships. Remember, having a database with as few as 150-200 people can result in an incredibly profitable business. However, only if those people are high quality - ie they 1) believe in your competence as a real estate professional, and 2) they trust you. The trust is a function of your trustworthiness, and your trustworthiness is at least partly (if not significantly) based on your ability to exhibit the 13 Virtues.