Committed Relationships

Do you have a relationship-focused business?  Or a transaction-focused business?  I don’t believe they are the same thing.

For bigger groups and organizations, they tend to be focused on transactions.  Individuals seem to be more likely to focus on relationships. But that’s not a hard and fast rule.  However, relationships happen on an *individual* level.   People say they have a “relationship” with their favorite brands.  That’s not what I mean.  We have relationships with *people*. Again, not exclusively, but more often than not, and specifically what we are talking about here. 

In real estate, we sign agreements as fiduciaries.  We legally obligate ourselves to act on behalf of our client’s best interests, operating with good faith, care, candor, and loyalty.  On the other hand, just because an agent signs that agreement doesn’t mean they fulfill that agreement.  

As we mentioned in previous posts, it is a common public perception that real estate agents are...untrustworthy.  People believe we are only in it to make a sale.  You probably know agents who are all about the deal.  They simply want to make the sale and move on to what’s next.  Nothing wrong with that.  Move the client through the buy/sell process, get it under contract, get it closed, and move on to what’s next.  Any conversations or actions that aren’t specifically around moving through that process - the agent wants no part of.  In fact, if you have been on the other side of a transaction with an agent like this, you have likely found it frustrating, because the transactional agent doesn’t want to talk to you either!

Trusted advisors that are worth hiring are relationship-focused, not sales-focused.  It’s a fine line to walk - they only get paid when they make a sale, but they get paid to help clients make decisions based solely on the clients’ needs and timeframes.  Sometimes what’s best for a client is to do nothing.  For the professional, it means not getting paid.

The following demonstrates the contrast between transactional professionals and relationship-driven professionals:

Making sales vs. Serving clients

Doing deals vs. Creating a pipeline of future business

One and done vs. Clients for life

If you are transactional, you have one objective:  make a sale.  If you are relational, what you do is much broader.  It could be boiled down to “serving” - you are there to *serve* your clients.  Here are some other words that might describe your relationship with clients.  

   - Advocate

   - Booster

   - Champion

   - Cheerleader

   - Friend

   - Partner

   - Proponent

   - Supporter

I like ‘advocate’.  Advocacy is another dimension of being relational.  Advocacy is *active*.  Like, do you advocate for your client’s cause or position, or promote the interests of that client?

This can be misleading.  Some agents believe they are “a champion for their clients.”  They advertise it on their website or through other marketing.  However, what they mean is:  we are going to fight for our client to get a deal so we can make a sale.  Maybe that’s not exactly what they say, but their intent is to win deals so they can get paid.  Positioning it in the light of “the client wins” is a justification for their lack of compassion, advocacy, or failure to fully commit to their clients’ overall best interests. 

This can show up in a number of ways.  Here’s one example.  

The listing agent - which can be an individual or team - has “market share” in a neighborhood.  They want listings - to preserve their market share.  What if a new seller comes to them and wants a price that is aspirational?  What if it makes sense for the client to list in the next season/cycle?  For example, it’s October, there is a fair amount of prep to do on the house, and the client has a lot of distractions right now.  But...the agent persuades the client that now is better. “Why wait when you can capture a sale now?”  A little tone-deaf to the client’s needs and situation, the agent persuades the client to list now.  To justify their actions, when potential buyers and their agents come through the property, the listing agent berates, bullies, or “champions” the seller’s property and case.

The listing agent says, “See!  I am a champion for my client!”

Hmmmm...

To be fair, sometimes it works out for the client.  The agent is a *producing* agent - they know how to do business.  Occasionally, they are going to get a sale done.  But at what price?  And at what cost to the relationship?  If the agent is okay with the one-and-done mentality, what difference does that make?

Another way to describe transactional agents:  pushy. 

Mostly, transactional agents simply care about their own self-interest first, but then sometimes delude themselves that they are doing it for their clients.  

Wait, you say, you are fully committed to your clients!  You are a “good” person!  You care!  Okay, well, some of you “good” people have made it into my sessions.  Then you ask me questions like this:

How do I get my clients to...

   ...lower the price.

   ...sign the buyer broker agreement/listing agreement.

   ...write at a higher price.

   ...accept a lower offer.

   ...make the repairs.

   ...buy/sell NOW!

Fill in the blank with your question.

Usually *you* are saying I need...  I need my client to do this, or I need my client to do that.  It’s about...you!  That’s **not** advocating for your client!

To be fair, when you are working with people you have established relationships with, you probably don’t struggle too much with being relational.  Often agents find themselves challenged with *newer* people, particularly if they either purchase lead lists or do a lot of outbound marketing (but not exclusively).

If you are working a list of *leads*, there is a big pull towards the transactional trap.  You have paid for leads, and you want to recoup your investment.  Therefore, underneath your best intentions, you want to cover your costs, and you want to get paid.  Also, in many cases, agents buy leads because they don’t have trusted, committed relationships.  So, they buy leads.  The people they are calling are strangers, many of whom probably don’t fit their ideal client profile.

In a committed relationship, it’s about serving the other person.  If you are in a committed relationship, when your client has a need or question, ***do they call you first?***  Or, do they go to the “phone book”.  In other words, do they go searching for someone else to answer their questions?

I am in a committed relationship with my wife.  When I want to go out to dinner on Saturday night, I don’t have to go looking for someone to invite out.  I ask my wife! “Hi, Love, would you like to go to dinner on Saturday?” 

If you have “leads” in your database, and you didn’t know them previously, how likely are they going to call and invite you to dinner? (metaphorically speaking)

Jay Abraham talks about entrepreneurship, and at its highest level, our “role is to serve as the most trusted lifetime advisor for somebody.”  He compares that to the Hippocratic Oath, where you deliver value, but also you do no harm.  Moreover, he says that: “You can’t sell them too little.  You can’t sell them less. ... You’ve got to tell them what’s in their best interest.  You’ve got to do that which is right.”

Being committed to serving the relationship goes beyond any particular transaction.  It means picking up the phone to connect, stay in relationship, long after the transaction was completed.  This doesn’t have to be true for every client.  However, if you don’t have any clients where this is the case, perhaps what needs to be done is to revisit why you are in this business.