Cognitive dissonance - part 2

I have several thoughts running through my head this week, given the three cities I was in, plus all the calls I had in between. As always, you - the agents on the court, doing the business - give me the material each week. 

The first set of observations from the week was the following: 

• How can your clients trust you if you don’t trust yourself?
• How can your clients trust you if you’re unreliable?
• How can you create ambition that has you get into action when you don’t feel like it?

The last one bled into dinner last night - my wife and I were with friends from out of town. The husband is an executive who runs sales for a multi-billion-dollar global semiconductor and device company. Our conversation included “How do you get someone who has low ambition to have high ambition?”

I do not know the answer. What I said to him was, “I don’t think you can.” And then repeated this line, which I have shared here before: “Human nature is surprisingly universal and it’s universally disappointing.” - The Morning Show

My friend had a good chuckle and then said, “Yeah, but really, how do you get someone to have ambition?”

I do not know. I do not think you can “inspire” or “make” someone have ambition. But maybe you can have a conversation that “opens up” something...?

I had several conversations this week with people who are struggling. Yet, they are choosing not to do anything about it. Could they use a bit more ambition? Probably! But likely that’s not the whole picture, because in my conversations, there were two specific replies that stood out to me:

One was “I already know,” and the other was straight-up avoidance.

If you already know what to do, then why aren’t you having the results you want? 

By coming from a place of “already knowing,” there is no opening for anything new to arise.

Why do we do this? I don’t know for sure, but one thing that is probably happening: cognitive dissonance. 

We would have to admit to ourselves that what we have been doing is not working. We would have to admit failure. We would have to admit being wrong. We would have to admit ‘not knowing.’ Once you admit this, you can get to work - get into action. One of the great things about the doors - I could iterate. I had no shortage of opportunities to ‘fail’ and get better.

What about avoiding? A person in this category would say the following to themselves: I have sold a fraction of the homes I needed to sell this year. I have bills mounting. But the avoider does not then acknowledge: I am not taking the action I need to take. I am not behaving with the required urgency and ambition. Yet, I am going around like everything is okay.

Everything is not okay! I mean, it’s not like there’s a problem in this moment, but pretty soon, there will be bills to pay and no money to pay them. That is a problem, and one that can be anxiety-provoking. If you have ever been in that spot (I have), it is incredibly stressful. Sometimes stress helps. But stress without action will make no difference.

This is a simple business that requires simple action: create trusting relationships. If you are not doing that, you are fooling yourself (cognitive dissonance). I ask people to make three phone calls a day, five days a week. They cry out, “How am I going to do that?”

How are you going to sell homes to people if you don’t talk to people? 

BTW: A few people are reading this, and cognitive dissonance is in full effect. “No, that’s not true.” “No, I do talk to people.” “No, my IG is off the hook.” “Well, I am busy with other things.”

If you are not selling at least a home a month, then I am going to call B.S. 

If you don’t want to sell at least a home a month, then never mind - you can ignore this entire post. Do whatever you want.

But if you want to be a Professional Worth Hiring, and you want business results that make a difference, you must talk to people in a way that builds and nurtures relationships. 

If you are not already talking to a minimum of 25 people weekly (and it should really be 50 or more), then dealing with that gap is the place to start.

Once you start talking to people, you can begin improving how you talk to them. Your conversations must engender trust. 

Look, there is nothing more frustrating to me than watching people continue to suffer. They say they want their business to be better, yet they don’t make any commitment to do that!

There is an agent whom I really like and care about. I called him a week or two ago and asked what’s going on. 

He said, “I am doing pretty good this year.” 

“Great,” I said, “How is your consistency at talking to people?” 

He replied, “It needs work.” 

I said, “When are you going to do something about that?”

His reply: “Maybe later this year.”

Human nature is surprisingly universal and it’s universally disappointing. 

I cannot create your ambition for you. I cannot want your success more than you do. When are you going to be committed to your success?