Bringing Levity

“Levity is a mind-set,” said Naomi Bagdonas, author and lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, specializing in leading with humor and humanity. “It’s looking for reasons to be delighted rather than disappointed in the world around you.”

As a real estate professional:

• When you have bad news...
• When the market is going the wrong way...
• When you list a property at what you think is the right price, but you get no showings and no offers...
• When your clients love the house, and the inspection report comes back with $80,000 of serious issues...

What are you thinking and feeling?

Usually, you are probably like, "What the heck? Noooooo!!!"

You - and most agents - are usually experiencing feelings of stress, anxiety, and fear. Often, so are the clients!

Humor, levity, is the opportunity to reduce stress and anxiety. Humor helps cope with life and business challenges. When people laugh together, it creates a shared view and understanding. Psychology refers to it as a “social glue effect.” Humor and laughter are a good thing!

• Shared laughter can boost feelings of trust, warmth, and closeness, leading to emotional alignment and perceived similarity.
• Studies from neuroscience show that laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural opioids, which create feelings of pleasure and connection.
• Laughter is contagious and can spread through groups quickly, synchronizing moods and reinforcing group cohesion.

Adding levity to our discussions lightens the mood and helps create a path forward. Using it effectively increases our empathy and trust in others.

It also takes some of the “significance” out of tough situations. Going back to the situation where the inspection report comes back with a huge hit list of issues, you know your clients are concerned. (I mean, so are you, because you want to get paid! Especially if you have been working with this buyer for a while, they have very specific needs, and you aren’t sure when you will find them another house that they will write an offer on...)

Anyway, when you get the report back to go over with the client, you could say something like this: “You’re probably thinking that this is the worst possible house you could ever buy.”

That statement is a label, which is an assertion - not the truth. It was said in jest, because both you and the client know that’s not true.

One time I was with a client on an acreage property, I was getting the sense that they liked it. When we got to the rear of the property and the outbuildings, one was an old barn that looked pretty close to falling down. They seemed a little disappointed as we saw it. I said, “Do you know what that building is?” They said, no, what? “Seven million termites holding hands.”

They laughed. It’s funny and ridiculous. Were they seriously going to buy - or not buy - the property only because of that outbuilding? Of course not. It lightens the mood and puts the focus on the bigger picture.

When you and your client can laugh about the circumstances, it actually brings you together. Laughing at something is a shared experience. It’s the same as when you were in middle school (junior high for my generation), and you and your friends had your own inside jokes. It creates bonding.

You also know the opposite experience. Think for a moment about times you were at the doctor, dentist, or speaking with your accountant. Can you think of situations where they simply went through the facts and then moved on? Not bad or wrong, simply no emotion, no joy, no fun! I mean, most of the time you go to the doctor it’s because something is wrong! Additionally, almost no one “likes” going to the dentist, and most salespeople hate accounting...and accountants! (No offense to the accountants!)

When you are with those professionals, dealing with things that are not naturally ‘fun’, having a little fun, having things be in a lighter mood, makes them more tolerable.

When you think about when professionals work with you, you know when they are creating connection and empathy, and when they are simply moving through their day, where you are simply one cog in their wheel. You also know real estate agents who treat their clients that way.

No one needs to learn how to be a comedian. Rather, where have you been unwilling to be a little funnier? If you are resisting this conversation, that’s a clue. Bringing levity to more situations is about being intentional about how you show up as a professional worth hiring.

“There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.” - George Carlin