Being sick and tired of...

Are you sick and tired yet?

A natural reply might be, “Of what?”

Are you sick and tired yet of...

• ...the market not cooperating
• ...the economy not cooperating
• ...clients who don’t appreciate you
• ...clients who don’t pay your fee or...
• ...you not having the courage to really charge what you are worth
• ...clients who ask for you to chip in along the way, or ask you to pay for things like staging
• ...clients who argue with you
• ...clients who say one thing but do another
• ...other agents who are totally inept and unprofessional
• ...other agents who make mistakes and then want you to chip in to help them out.

We could go on and on.

You could also be sick and tired of...

...not performing to the level you know you are capable of.

Whoa.

This last one is the real deal. Consider that the other complaints are simply a smoke screen for the last one.

I am sick and tired of people saying they are going to play a new game in their business - or raise their skill set - and then don’t do anything about it.

I would rather people tell the truth: “You know what, I am sick and tired of all these things, but the reality is I am not going to do anything about it besides complain.”

That would be at least straight. In fact, it would actually give you (and me) some relief.

Wait - about 2% of you are like, “No, I don’t complain, my business is great...” Excellent. Keep doing what you are doing.

For the rest of us...

The other thing you - and sometimes me - say is, “I am going to do something about these things, just not now.”

If not now, when?

September 1st is here.

You do not have four months left - maybe three, tops. (Holidays eat up a lot of time.)

What are you going to do that is any different from what you have already done?

If the answer is nothing, at least be straight with yourself - don’t say you will do something that you know deep down you will not do.

Here are two options that would make a difference over the last four months:

  1) Do something committedly (like make a big, specific promise that would have you operate outside of your normal, comfortable way of operating)

       and/or

  2) Stop complaining or whining that it should be some other way than it is.

If I haven’t said this clearly before, all of my focus is on the following:

The quality of your business will never exceed the quality of your relationships.

And...

The quality of your relationships will never exceed the quality of your conversations.

My primary focus is on having professionals create and nurture authentically trusting relationships, and those relationships live in conversations. 

Feel free to chase transactions. Do more deals. 

The real professional is playing a totally different game.

There is little to no training and development for real estate agents in the domains of relationships and conversations. If there is, it is surface level, and the conversations are often around scripts and objection handling to get people to do what you want them to do.

I am going to say something that will offend many people:

Most of the training is an amateur and immature way to approach a real estate practice. Moreover, it totally invalidates your clients - who are the ones hiring and paying you! 

"Wait, Mr. Prospective Seller, let me objection handle you." 

"Hold on, Mrs. Buyer, let me get my script out so that I can tell you why now is better than ever to buy real estate."

Seriously.

However, it is usually disguised more politely around “service,” or “being friendly,” or “Let-me-tell-you-why-I-am-#1-and-you-should-hire-me-because-my-marketing-and-video-and-ice-cream-trucks-and-staging-and-marketing-and-I-am-the-best-negotiator-you-will-ever-hire-even-though-I-discount-my-fee-to-get-business.” 

To be fair, it has taken me a very long time to get to this place. While earlier in my career I sensed something was amiss, I had no language or frameworks to distinguish authentic trust.

Now I am very clear.

What I am not clear on is how to communicate it in a way that people get it. I mean, a few people get it. The few dozen or so of my clients who are committed to their development are having extraordinary results: They have better client relationships, their transactions go smoother, and they make more money. What else could you possibly ask for?

Every time one of them tells me about a new win, I have to pinch myself. It is a gift to participate in their success.

In a phone conversation this week with a client, we were discussing some of the highest-grossing individual real estate agents. He called them the “top agents,” or the “most successful.”

Maybe.

Just because you sold a lot of real estate doesn’t mean you are great, and it definitely doesn’t mean you are the best. In fact, a few of the agents he mentioned simply bulldoze their way through with charm, charisma, or straight-up force.

Of course, the next question is, “How do you know if you are the best?”

Ahhh, isn’t that a great question? How do you know? 

I believe the best agent is the one who can navigate any situation without diminishing the trust the client has in them. In fact, the harder and tougher the situation, the more that agent excels. There is not one question or conversation that this kind of agent can’t have.

Sure, “top agents” have these conversations. But it is all about force. They often push and cajole their clients into doing what they think is right. They skillfully manipulate the situation and other people’s emotions to create an outcome that they want. And one “they think” their client wants.

If you haven’t been offended or confronted yet, hang on for this one:

How arrogant is it to “know” what is best for your client?

In the Trust Equation I adapted from The Trusted Advisor: 

Trustworthiness = (Competence + The 13 Virtues) / Self-Orientation

...the denominator can totally invalidate the numerator if it comes from the wrong place - in other words, intent (also could be called focus or motivation). So while an agent might produce a good outcome, if they act out of self-interest, the client almost certainly does not fully trust the agent. If the agent is not fully trusted, then they are operating in the domain of cordial hypocrisy - the pretense of trust and harmony through politeness, while unspoken distrust and cynicism quietly govern the relationship.

Cordial hypocrisy can survive in many client interactions because the industry quietly rewards persuasion over counsel. Also, the incentive is about making sales - not how they are made (quantity over quality).

It takes a real Being a Professional Worth Hiring™ to be differentiated from the rest of the industry, and the clients worth having are precisely the ones who recognize the difference.

Who, if anyone, is interested in being this kind of professional?