This was Father’s Day, exactly 20 years ago (that day - 6/18/2006). I stared at that picture for a little while - it caught me totally off guard. I showed it to my wife, who was sitting next to me. Her first comment was, “Wow.” Then, a few moments later, she said, “You weren’t even remotely thinking about me back then!” Yes, that was a different time...and so much has changed.
That picture was taken at my former in-laws’ house in Camarillo, CA. It was a fully landscaped acre, and we had almost certainly spent the day at their pool, hanging out, and my father-in-law probably grilled and made his Caesar salad dressing.
My mother-in-law died 11 1/2 years ago, I moved to Colorado 18 1/2 years ago, and my current wife and I have been together for 9 years and married for 4 1/2.
My kids are all over 21, and while all of them have left the house and lived on their own, this summer they are all living in our basement!
Also, last Thursday, one of my clients turned 40. He just had his second child two weeks before. About the same time his daughter was being born, one of my good friends from the last 14 years died after a long struggle with cancer. So, as we move past the third week of June, which also usually marks Father’s Day and the official start of summer, I'm reminded of the thought I have every year: I love summer and I hate summer.
I love that things slow down in the summer. I hate that things slow down in the summer.
What I love about the slowing down - taking some time to pause, breathe, and reflect.
These last few days are not my normal summer reflection - typically, I do that the first few weeks of July. However, these unique circumstances tugged at me. Even though I had already begun writing for today about empathic listening, the Muse pulled for me to push that back and go with this post.
The point today has nothing to do with my kids and me, nor the passing of my friend, nor the birth of my client’s child. (Funny enough, one of my longtime real estate clients also had her second daughter about the same time as my coaching client.)
What I am offering to you as consideration are two things:
1) From a historical perspective, can you look back and see the ground you have taken? Whether you go back 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, or longer, there is ground you have taken. It is critically important to take note of this! I strongly recommend not letting your brain be filled with all the things that didn’t work or are not working. You must be able to acknowledge and presence for yourself the progress you have made - even if you are still short of where you are heading.
2) From a “right-now” perspective, I invite you to take a moment to reflect on the last six months and then apply it to the upcoming six months. I have built this quick, three-item questionnaire to help you (and me, as this survey also enables me to see, from a broader perspective, where people are regarding their progress).
*** My request is that you take two minutes (or less) to answer these questions - I promise it will help shape your second half of the year in a way that makes a difference. Distinguishing circumstances outside of your head is the first path to changing your results!!!
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” — Annie Dillard
